Archive

Archive for May, 2007

Chabon’s Newest – Marlowe on Ice

May 4th, 2007

I hit the bookstore on Tuesday and picked up a couple new big titles that I’ve been looking forward to for a long time. The new Chuck Palahniuk book, Rant showed up on shelves alongside the new Michael Chabon book, The Yiddish Policemen’s Union. I noticed Michiko Kakutani wrote a rather intriguing review of Chabon’s newest, comparing his newest hero to Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe (arguably two of my favorite literary hero/detectives ever written), meaning I’m foaming at the mouth to finish up my current read and start on Chabon’s newest. I’ll be sure to post a review when I get to the book and share my own thoughts.

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Writers and Authors

The Office thoughts and notes

May 4th, 2007

After the last couple of weeks of genius episodes and a recent devotion to the series that I can’t quite figure out why I didn’t have in the past (seriously, when Creed ate that potato…genius). So, I was intrigued by this post I saw over at Fimoculous mentioning how half the actors on the show are actually creative and executive influences on the show:

Completely unprovable but perhaps interesting observation about The Office: the creators are also actors. That is, the actor who plays Toby (Paul Lieberstein) is actually the co-executive producer, Brian (B.J. Novak) has produced many episodes, and Mindy (Mindy Kaling) is chief writer. (I thought of this while reading a story in which Jeff Zucker suggests that The Office might turn into an hour-long comedy. Wacky.)

I love this show. An hour would be amazing.

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Uncategorized

Japanese Spiderman

May 3rd, 2007

With Spiderman just around the corner, I thought it a good idea to throw in some Spidey related links and whatnot to celebrate. I’m not quite the monumental Spiderman guru that some of my friends are and were (the first film was a four day countdown for some of my then 18 year old friends, complete with skipped classes and late night mountain dew runs). But, I’m all about the series though, and in the final days before it’s release, why not watch some sweet sweet Japanese Spiderman action.

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Cool Stuff

NaNoWriMo Production – Alonso’s Story Part 1

May 3rd, 2007

I’ve been a part of the usual November grind of NaNoWriMo for a few years now, and my first time out in 2005 produced about 60% of a novel that hasn’t been touched since. For your perusal; the first few hundred words of chapter 1. Enjoy:

***************

Alonso Quijano toed the clod of dirt at his feet repeatedly, the bits of grass still attached pealing off to reveal a solid mass; a rock most likely. He kicked it away, annoyed and multitudinously bored. The days were long, the harvest not yet begun, and the quotidian reminders of his father echoed in his ears each morning before, during, and after breaking fast. When the final leaf fell from the cork tree, he was to be considered an adult, an entrant to the vast and wonderful boredoms of adulthood, marriage, and land ownership.

Adulthood bothered him no more than the pithy sarcasm he received for the complaints to his father. The second and third aspects bore a greater burden, one that a “youth’s shortsighted laziness” (as the old boar described him) could not help but be wary of.

Alonso more and more frequently recalled the words of his mother, now long gone, lost to the cults of the north. “You are born, you live a simple, innocent, and chaste life. A wave of despair shall descend upon you and burry your innocence; you will die. Rebirth will find you simple and sated of your youthful lusts, a tool to your spouse, children, and community. Then you will die again. Rebirth is questionable.” Shortly after beginning to spout such idyllic nonsense, Alonso’s father had her bagged up and shipped out of the village. Craziness does not mesh with the routines of a simple farmer. Boredom and unhappiness however seemed to fit quite well.

For what seemed like the hundredth time that day, Alonso craned his neck to the sky, watching for signs of the late summer rains, of the harbingers of his ensnaring to his second life. The sun shone down upon him in reply though; full, bright, and alone in the cerulean heavens. The cork tree behind the cottage remained full and vivacious. Its foliage would know at least another two or three months of sunlight.

            What should have sated his fear, and prolonged the happy moments of childhood acted only as a reminder of the Fate that awaited him. In two months time – three if the season held late, which it very well may, the unseasonable lack of late rains pointed to a long summer – he must move from his father’s home. His marriage had been arranged, likely not favorable for either youth, yet necessary regardless. He had not met her as of yet, as she resided many miles away, in one of the southern villages nearest the wood. His father told him she would travel north upon the break of the season’s first storm, most likely in a month’s time. Her beauty, lauded by those lucky enough to meet her concerned Alonso not. Rather, he found himself asking constantly of her humors, her bearing, what intellect God bestowed upon her simple village mind. A bland, stupid wife scared him more than an ugly one. Ugliness dissipated in time. He would spend the rest of his life in conversation with the woman, and together they would raise children. How awful it would be to have dull, dim-witted children!

            These thoughts and more plagued young Alonso, occupying the entirety of his considerations for much of the day (and many days before as well). The sun already sank past its high point, marking the latter half of the day beginning, and he had yet to accomplish any thing of note, not something his father would fail to find great fault in. He may have another two or three months until his freedom (of a miserable sort) from his father, but for those months it would not due to neglect his duties entirely. Sulking had no effect on the gruff sensibilities of a middle-aged olive farmer. He forced himself away from his revelries and made to retreat back into the cottage, hoping to find his sister at work preparing the mid-day meal, or better yet finishing it. Food might help to at least calm his physical restlessness. For that matter, it might brighten his spirits if of a high enough quality.

            The cottage sat beneath the boughs of two enormous firs, nearly as high as the eye could readily see while standing beneath, offering cool shade for the ill ventilated home. The grounds around the home were mostly clear, with the exception of one gorgeous, billowing juniper stand flanking the cottage’s far side. In front was a simple path, no less quaint and plain than the paths of most every other home in the squat, sprawling village. It stretched to the main road (if one dared name it as such – only wide enough to bear the girth of a single horse and cart, mind you a cart no larger than the horse bearing it) where the other cottage’s entrances snaked together creating a vast web of simple homes for their simple denizens. Behind the small home were a failing wooden shed (one of Alonso’s neglected duties as it stood), home to the family’s single brown steed, a gentle bay named Acemila.  The shed also housed the two carts his father owned for gathering the olives, one reserved for Alonso’s impending departure. Blast if he couldn’t keep from seeing his future in every shingle and farm tool his father owned.

            Fortunately (less so, when he learned later in what capacity) his ruminations cut short as the road leading north erupted with ferocious, angry shouts. Turning abruptly toward the source of the disturbance, Alonso witnessed the rising of a great cloud of dust no less than a 1000 yards from his current position. Rather than waxing idly at its cause he brushed away the occupying thoughts and ran toward the ruckus, curiosity flirting with worry. Some truly angry voices could be heard from within the cloud.

            As he approached, he could make out at least half of the village in the mess. The cloud itself emanated from the frantic circling motions of two horses connected to a wagon – a device much too large for the village’s simple road. Combine the inept conveyance with a crowd of angry men and women waving sharp implements at the horses and a tragedy appeared eager to announce itself to the gathering.

            Alonso slowed his approach, not wishing to become embroiled in the struggle, at least not before knowing its cause. Whatever brought the entirety of a village to arms may very well deserve it, but it was impossible to forget the amplification of previous misunderstandings, most notably the traveling doctor, whose medicines and tinctures failed to mend the mind of a quickly failing goat. The man nearly hung for his ‘flagrant lies and false medicines’.

            As the redeeming angel of that case, Alonso’s father had quickly ended the confrontation, and so Alonso scoured the crowd looking for him, waiting for his approach to the situation before joining in the judgment of the mob.

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My Fiction

Purported Memoirs of a QFC Deli Clerk (en Ficcione)

May 1st, 2007

I had a long and fruitful job at a local QFC, working as a deli clerk during college. There were some incredible characters working there and I made wonderful friends over the years. Of course; there were even more people working there who were incredibly nuts and had their own deep seeded problems. Meet chapter one of some good old fashioned QFC bashing goodness. If anyone likes these, I’ll think about writing a few more.

1.

Jeanine wiped and wiped at the gouged stain on the back of the slowly yellowing porcelain. It vaguely reminded her of the mole on Kenny’s ass, the hairy one she’d finally made him remove last summer. She squinted, wondering if the tiny bit of chipped rust could morph into cartoon heads too. Alas, porcelain doesn’t flex and fold quite as efficiently and fully as the ass of an overweight twenty-two year old.

“Jenny! You done in there?” The door crashed open as Roger flounced his own bits of middle aged flab to within a foot and a half of her face. “What’s taking you so long?”

Jeanine twirled on her heel and without thinking pulled the bucket and rag to her breast. Any half way nubile female with an inkling of a curve or a presentiment of pouty lips jumped if Roger entered a ten foot bubble. Cursing beneath her breath, she realized the black streaked rag she’d just spent more than five minutes scrubbing a rust layered toilet with was soaking through her shirt.

Roger smacked his lips and if anyone had the inclination to look closely enough they’d see him staring not at Jeanine’s slowly thinning shirt, but at the mirror she stood in front of, an ample glimpse of her pilate-toned rear-end reflecting back. A smart man, Roger.

“Lunch time honey. You’ve been at it for fifteen minutes.” The shit eating grin he carried around all day shone brightly in the flicker of half a fluorescent light tube. “You can check out those songs I burnt you.”

Jeanine forced a smile from her lips and nodded, unable to squeeze free any words to compliment the smile. Kenny would probably have a fit. Friendship is all fine and good, but that retrospective tour of ska music he’d heaped on her was a touch creepy.

“Come on let’s go.” Stout, increasingly horizontal, and a shellac helmet of pomade holding his manager-hair in place, Roger reached for her.

Unable to control herself, she pulled away, jerking from his serpentine fingers.

The rag dropped to the counter and wolfish eyes darted to and fro, scanning quickly and efficiently.

“Yes, sir.” Said Jeanine.

And don’t think he didn’t get an eye full as she left. He stood for a second longer mulling what to do with her. She was skittish, and jumpy. That wouldn’t do.

He snaked a finger through his eyebrows in the mirror and sucked his gut in.

At the same time the door flipped open violently and the ear numbing scream of a little old lady with a Metamucil dependency shook him loose. Manager or no manager, old Edna didn’t appreciate a man licking his fingers in the lady’s room.

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My Fiction

Pro #10 – The Great Outdoors

May 1st, 2007

Winter is finally looking small and fuzzy in the distance as we drive headlong into the heart of Spring and soon Summer. It’s been a long time since I sat inside in the dark in sub-freezing weather after a ridiculous storm and wished for warmth and now here it is.

Here it is then; I’ve been waiting for a good long while to say this, but Pro number 10 is getting to go out and enjoy the nice weather whenever the heck I feel like it. There are no more amazing days, with beautiful weather that I’m stuck working all the way throughout because of some horrible sheduling and need for work. I can stay out all day if I choose and then head home and work when it gets dark, or just hold off on my writing until the weather is worse.

I can take up any hobby I so choose and with the sunny weather coming more frequently and more lovingly and get the chance to go out and play tennis, basketball, golf, baseball or more. It doesn’t have to be the weekend and it doesn’t have to be a “sick day”.

For all of you schmucks chilling in the midst of the daily grind, staring out the window at the punks like me out in the world having fun with all that sun. I know, I’m kind of an ass right? Oh well, I’m completely okay with that.

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Pros and Cons of Freelance Writing

Month Four

May 1st, 2007

By choosing the first of the month I made it fairly easy to remember how long it’s been since I first started writing full time. As the last day of the month, I know it’s been exactly four months and because of that, I feel like I should throw down a bit of a recap of the last four months and what’s happened.

In the last month or so especially it’s turned out that things are incredibly easy to accomplish if I just adhere to a strict regiment of locking myself away for at least a few hours every day.

I quit the old hourly job a few weeks ago and though I was stressed out at first, I realized later that I can make the same or more money with less work and do it all on my own terms. The problem of course is the paper work. What nobody tells you is that if you start working on your own, you have to eventually start figuring out things like taxes and budgets and the balance of multiple bank accounts.

That of course is largely outweighed by the massive amount of good things experienced. Included in this lovely pile is a plethora of good fun such as free time whenever I want it, adjustable schedules and usually around 4 hours of solid work a day for four or five days a week tops. Top it all off with projects that occasionally become incredibly interesting and you’ve got one nice and relaxing lifestyle and to sit with.

So, the four month mark then; what does it mean? It’s spring time and the weather’s nice. I’m out and about getting some exercise as well as hanging out in the interim with some really great people (and one really amazing person) and practicing the whole transition. I have written over 1000 articles since January already and though I enjoy writing about everything under the sun, it looks like I’m finally getting to the point where I can write less and less and get paid a little more.

Anyways, here’s looking to month five, which will be chockful of baseball games, tennis practice, and all sorts of other random fun in the sun.

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Freelancing, Observations and Thoughts