Sequels and Remakes and B-Flicks, Oh My!
Well, as you can see, I’m still kicking on the “not writing a whole lot of anything” train. Here’s the thing though. I checked my recent traffic and it looks like I’m more or less going down the drain, traffic-wise. Honestly, traffic isn’t the goal, but it’s still not very inspiring to find that I’ve lost about 45% in a week or so. I don’t pay too much attention, but that’s lame.
Regardless, I’m going to try, even though I’d rather enjoy my off time, to post a bit more in the next few days on all that is random and glorious in the world. Today, I thought I’d comment on the rush of remakes flooding the market. I just saw today at fimoculous that there will be a Barbarella remake in the very near future. The result? My barely concealed intrigue, wrapped in a raised eyebrow and the realization that I’m not actually intrigued, merely curious. Curious in that way you get when you see a pile of broken glass next to a bent telephone pole and wonder just how big the car that hit that pole was, how drunk he was, and if the paper will have a story on it tomorrow.
I’m getting rather fatigued by the trend, honestly. I wrote up an “up and coming” list for the films hitting theaters this summer and among them were almost entirely remakes and sequels. TMNT, Transformers, Underdog, and more round out the 80s flush and then there was the news about GI Joe coming back. The last Bond movie was a remake of the first James Bond movie (though, to be fair, that first movie was a spoof) and the newest Spiderman and Fantastic Four movies are both sequels and adaptations. And what is this I hear? A third Shrek and a third Pirates of the Carribbean, followed by a fourth Die Hard.
The list doesn’t end and before the season even starts, we already know next year will bring the long awaited (and dreaded) fourth Indiana Jones film…let us hope the 65 year old Harisson Ford is not swashbuckling with a cane in hand. The problem is this - Hollywood sees solid, successful characters (of which there are a lot; they tend to oversaturate us like that) and flushes them out for second, third, and fourth outings. That’s where we get the swath of sequels.
But, it’s not even just that anymore. Somewhere along the way, someone decided that it was okay to revisit 1980s franchises with aging actors and AFI vaulted scripts for new sequels. Rocky Balboa, Indiana Jones IV, and another go by good old Bruce Willis in Die Hard are all testaments to that…somewhere it will go horribly wrong. I have my money on Governor Schwarzennegar in Junior 2.
Anyways, it’s all junk and I’m more or less tired of it. Granted, I’ll be in line for Spiderman 3; those are good movies. But, don’t count on my $9 for every other schlocky action flick and remake sliding through this year. Just not worth it anymore.